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About Me

A picture of me sitting at a desk with two Apple laptops stacked on top of each other like I'm doing double the work as a normal person.
On my fifth coffee of the day and growing another set of hands

Hi, I’m Lana. I’m a Libra Sun, Sagittarius Moon and Aries Rising (watch out), and I spent 16 years in the advertising industry, writing sparkling copy for Fortune 500 brands. You’ve probably heard of them—brands like Kellogg, Ford, Cadillac, Buick, GMC (so many cars), Kotex, Good Nites, and United Way, among others. I’ve adopted the tone of a toaster pastry to write social posts for Pop-Tarts, gone viral with a Valentine’s Day video for Ford Mustang, helped revamp Kotex for tweens just getting their periods, and so much more. I started as a junior copywriter and rose to a Creative Director on the strength of my writing and ideas.

And it was awesome! 

And it wasn’t. 

 

A tweet that reads, "Gotta be honest y'all I am not having a baja blast right now"
I think about this tweet on a daily basis.

Awesome: I worked with some truly phenomenal people. 

Not a Baja Blast: And some abusive bosses. 

Awesome: I got to work on some really fucking cool projects, meet some really fucking cool people and travel to some really fucking cool places. 

Not a Baja Blast: For every one successful project, there were a dozen others I spent months grueling over, working until my brain physically hurt, typing up treatments on planes or in the basements of conference centers, missing out on real life only to watch them wither and die when the (mostly male) management above didn’t get the idea—or worse, wanted to go with an idea of their own, just for laughs.

Awesome: On my best days, it hardly felt like I was working at all. 

Not a Baja Blast: On my worst days, I’d endure screaming phone calls from my boss. I’d have male freelancers treat me like an administrative assistant, not even introducing themselves to the women on the team—who were leading the project. I’d spend Sundays in a mostly empty office building with only workaholics for company, wondering if I’d even get to have dinner with my husband before starting another 80 hour week. And I’d find myself in my doctor’s office, crying over how trapped I felt, until I left with a prescription for Wellbutrin and a determination that I needed to get out of these shitty situations for good. (Wellbutrin Fan Club, Founding Member.)

Me and a friend standing in golden-hour light on a hill overlooking Los Angeles. There's a car in the background.
Golden hour in LA, pre-daily screaming phone call

Note to Self: It's not the work's fault. It's the culture, ding-dong.

Me and two unnamed celebrities taking a goofy picture after a long day of shooting something fun in Brooklyn.
Trying to blend in with actually cool people

Maybe you can relate. 

Have you ever worked a job and felt like it was slowly sucking your soul out through a bendy straw? 

Or have you ever gone home to create something truly creative, something just for yourself—a knitted sock, an abstract painting, a gorgeous landscape photo, a Wickerman effigy— and thought, “This is my true passion”? 

Have you ever gone to a friend’s wedding one weekend in a nice, tasteful, burgundy wrap dress only to come to work on Monday and have some guy named Tim who follows you on Instagram say, “I liked you in your red dress…” while breathing like an ogre? 

Have you ever thought, “There has GOT to be more than this. If only I could work for myself, I know I’d feel so much better”? 

Get in, we're doing it.

You...

  • …Have a business idea you want to build, but you’re worried you won’t know where to find the kind of people who become customers. 
 
 
  • …Have a business you’re already running on the side, but you struggle to know how to market and promote yourself in a way that feels authentic to your values and your personality. 
 
  • …Might be staring down your website, social channels, or empty email template, at a total loss for what to say, but knowing that you need to figure it out—fast. 
 
 
  • …Want to transition to your business full-time, and you just need a little extra something to make you or your products stand out from all the cut-and-paste, carbon copy businesses out there. 
 
  • …Feel like you’re a decent enough writer, but want to learn how to make your site copy, social posts and email communications shine like white patent-leather Mary Janes on Easter Sunday.
 
  • …Have the basics down, and you’re ready to optimize your site for search engines, your social posts for engagement, your product listing for conversions, and your newsletter copy so it becomes can’t-miss content in a sea of unsubscribers.

I...

  • …Want you to succeed in working for yourself, because there are enough corporations planning sweat farms on Mars and not enough people out there who glow the way you do.
 
  • …Can help you understand that marketing is less about pushing your business and more about making real connections with the people who just happen to need what you offer.
 
  • …Will show you how to unlock your creativity, have an endless fountain of content ideas, and silence that tiny critical voice in your brain who starts spewing nonsense when you sit down at the keyboard.
 
  • …Want to teach you how your greatest asset to your business is your individual perspective, personality and joy.
 
 
 
  • …Know all the tricks, shortcuts and hacks to help you turn ho-hum, first-draft writing into “Wait, did I just fall in love with my own voice??” writing.
 
 
  • …Will share everything I know about how to rank in a search engine with quality content, how to to use your social media to build an empire, how to serve up your products like the Hope diamond , and how to actually have fun writing newsletters that people will want to read.
 

Bestie, are you in?

Let's get you some money.

Build your empire.

Make Rhianna proud.

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